Got the idea from antonio-canova who originally did a similar post but on the Spanish NT. And naturally it needed to be done to the German NT :D
Joachim Low: That really stylish uncle
Manuel Neuer: That big cuddly cousin who’s friendly to everyone.
Tim Wiese: That one cousin that turns up to every event with a different girl.
Renee Adler: The over achieving cousin who got accepted into Medicine at a top university and sits with the adults now.
Dennis Aogo: That cousin who is just too cool for school.
Holger Badstuber: That one dorky cousin who always wants what you have. The next day they go to the shops and you find that they now own half of your wardrobe.
Arne Friedrich: That really really really ridiculously good-looking uncle.
Jerome Boateng: The cousin who acts real gangsta.
Mats Hummels: That one cousin who always finds an excuse to take his top off. (I don’t complain)
Per Mertesacker: The giant of the family. Why didn’t I get your genes?
Marcel Schmelzer: That one kid who once turned up to Christmas dinner ten feet taller with a deeper voice.
Thomas Müller: That younger cousin who brings his PSP everywhere, or continually asks you to play on your XBOX but is easily swayed with chocolate and piggybacks.
Sven Bender: That really cute 2nd cousin that makes you look up incest laws in your Country.
Mario Götze: That scrawny little cousin that always tries to sneak onto the adult’s table.
Toni Kroos: The goody two shoes cousin who your parents always compare you to.
Philip Lahm: The uncle that organises everything and is big on reunions like every month.
Bastian Schweinsteiger/ Lukas Podolski: The family pranksters.
Christian Träsch: That one cousin who you’re convinced is a serial killer and sits in the corner glaring at you.
Mario Gomez: That one uncle who drinks too much beer and ends up singing songs from the homeland loudly by the end of the night.
Mesut Özil: That really innocent and naïve cousin who asks really awkward questions.
Miroslav Klose: That one uncle who always asks you what you want to do when you finish school and is really skeptical of your answer.
Sami Khedira: The uncle your dad sits around with talking Business and Finance.
Lewis holtby: The cousin who is the heaps laid back musical freak